From: ethan.hall37@aol.com
It’s been here for months at this point. I don’t know what it is or why it’s chosen me but there’s not much I can do now. It began around november 15th I think. I noticed my cupboard open slightly ajar.
As I awoke I was completely unable to move, but this was unsurprising to me. My sleep paralysis was something I had been dealing with often so it really wasn’t concerning in the slightest.
The open cupboard made me uneasy though, and at the time I really couldn’t tell you why. There were no weird sleep paralysis hallucinations to speak of that night, but I couldn’t get that bleeding darkness from the cupboard door out of my mind. It felt vast and empty, and the way it sat in my room was almost unnatural somehow? Anyway when I awoke I shut the cupboard and that was that. The next few nights were as peaceful as nights could be for me. That incident was out of my mind, even the slight headache which pulsed and wriggled inside of my skull didn’t seem notable or interesting. I didn’t think about it again until it happened again.
I had a awoken to that same sensation as if someone was feeling around inside of my head. As I slowly open my eyes, I saw it again. That same darkness I had witnessed earlier in the week. That impossibly dark void, seeping out from the slightly ajar cupboard. I was unsettled, of course but that fear was unrivalled by the terror I felt when I saw shadowy fingers wrap around the cupboard door slowly.
I watched intently for hours, was this a hallucination caused by my sleep paralysis? I had no time to rationalize this at the moment as I was utterly gripped by fear. The throbbing, squeezing sensation penetrating my thoughts didn’t help either.
As the sun rose, I had noticed the headache and the hand gone. I felt relieved, the same kind of relief you feel when you awaken from a nightmare and realize how nonsensical it had all been. As I started to close my eyes, I realized the cupboard was still ajar.
I shot up from my bed. Maybe I had let the door open again? It’s not like me to do so, but what else could have happened? As I rushed over to give myself the peace of mind I craved, I opened the cupboard, a sense of rising dread filling my body as I yanked the door open.
Nothing.
This was obviously just another sleep paralysis induced hallucination, much to my relief. I went back to my bed and slept for another couple of hours. The cupboard and the hand did not leave my mind though, and it became a habit to confirm the door was always closed. I even avoided opening it for the time being.
The next time I felt myself coming to with that sensation as if someone was groping around in my skull I knew I had to keep my eyes closed. I told myself it was because no good could come from witnessing another cupboard scene, but I knew it because that door would be open again. The hand would be emerging from the impossible darkness, leaking from my cupboard. My false hope has almost comforted me back into my slumber until I heard that noise. The wet slap of feet hitting the ground.
My eyes shot open, and standing there in front of my cupboard was that thing. The thing that I have not stopped thinking about for months, the thing I COULDN’T ignore even if I wanted to. It was a tall silhouette of a person. Its body was so much darker than the darkness that enveloped my room normally at night. I could tell it was coated in some sort of liquid maybe? It’s difficult to make that out in the darkness. It stood tall and was almost entirely featureless, aside from its piercing eyes. They were hard to make out due to the lack of light, but once I noticed them it was hard to forget.
I could’ve probably chalked this up to a sleep paralysis induced vision, shadowy figures aren’t uncommon during sleep paralysis after all, but one detail made this impossible to forget. The cupboard door that I had been so careful as to avoid, that I had religiously checked before bed was slightly opened.
I watched the thing until sunrise, it standing still and watching me with its piercing stare. It didn’t have a mouth from what I could see, but I could tell from the eyes that it was smiling at me. The eyes might’ve even strangely given off a gentle warmth if it wasn’t staring so intently.
When sunrise finally came, it was just gone. I hadn’t noticed it leave, there wasn’t a moment that I could remember where it disappeared, it just wasn’t there anymore. I got up slowly, my heart beating fast, and went to check on the cupboard.
Inside I found a small box, stained with black oil. Inside was a spoon, and a can of sardines wrapped in a velvet handkerchief. I had proof that this thing had visited me, although it wasn’t enough to convince anyone. I even got the residue tested, and it was just crude oil. Nothing to tell me anything more about what was happening.
This was just my life for 2 weeks. It would show up every 4 or 5 days. I started to get used to it, it even stopped bothering me at some point. Sometimes a new box would appear, sometimes an oil stain, and sometimes nothing at all. Nobody believed me when I told them, and as I got used to its gaze I even started to get 5 hours of sleep again. The headache was the worst part but everything seemed alright, until one night I noticed it was closer to me.
I had stopped paying it much mind, it had been appearing for about a month now and most nights I just wouldn’t even look at the thing. Aside from showing up a bit more frequently, It had just become part of my routine. It’s amazing what the human mind can just accept. I was fine with it. Until the day I glanced at it, realizing that it was standing next to my table.
My table was closer to me than the cupboard, but it was still far enough away as to be an unnoticeable difference if you weren’t paying attention. My apartment isn’t the biggest, so the distance wasn’t a huge leap, but it was enough to be unmistakably closer to my bed. Needless to say this launched me into a panic.
I must’ve tried everything I could think of.
Blocking the path to my bed, sleeping at motels, getting my dear friend Henry to stay over, but none of it helped. It would still slowly inch closer, its appearances now nightly. I couldn’t even prove this thing was real as the footage would always cut out before 2AM. The only thing that seemed to delay its approach was simply not going to sleep, and that wasn’t something that was sustainable.
My friends are all concerned, they believe my lack of sleep and insistence that there is a creature slowly cornering me is nothing more than paranoia and insomnia causing me to lose my sanity but I know it’s real. My cupboard is always open in the morning, and the things it leaves me are tangible and physically here in this space but they still won’t believe my story.
Soon, it will reach my bed. I’ve accepted that once it does it can mean nothing good for me, and that this is my fate. I’ve left my goodbyes to all those in my life. Henry, Sonia, my aunt and uncle. It’s been 2 days since I’ve last slept, and I’ve done all that I’ve needed to do before I am at the mercy of this shadowy monster. I am thankful that it has allowed me to get my affairs in order and to write goodbyes to everyone I care for. Tonight, no matter where I rest, it will reach my resting place. I’m very tired, I think I will spend this last night in my own bed. I just hope things are over quickly now.
